JFK ASSASSINATION ARGUMENTS
(PART 1074)


CHRIS MESSNER SAID:

Mr. "von Pein" [sic]...cannot even tell his real name.


DAVID VON PEIN (OR IS IT ME?) SAID:

What in the world makes you think something really stupid like this?

Let me guess -- Lenny Osanic?


CHRIS MESSNER SAID:

Like Mr. Bugliosi[,] he [DVP] seems to be caught in the spider network of his own fabrications.


DAVID VON PEIN SAID:

You're silly. Very, very silly. Name ONE thing Bugliosi "fabricated"? You won't be able to name ONE.

On the other hand, I can name many things that have been "fabricated" by you conspiracy kooks. Here's a small sampling right off the top of my head (there are hundreds more, of course):

1.) Oswald was just an innocent "patsy" and did not kill JFK.

2.) Dave Ferrie plotted to kill JFK.

3.) Guy Banister plotted to kill JFK.

4.) Clay Shaw plotted to kill JFK.

5.) Malcolm Wallace killed JFK.

6.) William Greer killed JFK.

7.) Secret Service agent George Hickey accidentally shot and killed JFK.

8.) A Secret Service agent was told to "stand down" at Love Field.

9.) The motorcade route was changed at the "last minute".

10.) Jack Ruby was let in to the DPD basement in order to kill Oswald.

11.) The Warren Commission "covered up" the truth about JFK's death.

12.) JFK was shot by a "triangulation of crossfire", featuring 6 gunshots and 3 gunmen (Oliver Stone's theory).

13.) JFK's body was stolen and his wounds altered at Walter Reed before the autopsy (David Lifton).

14.) JFK's body was altered by Dr. James J. Humes at Bethesda before the autopsy (Doug Horne).

15.) There were two separate brain examinations, one on a brain that wasn't JFK's (Doug Horne).

16.) The Zapruder Film has been altered (Doug Horne and gobs of other kooks).

17.) The Zapruder Film has been "wholly fabricated" (James Fetzer).

18.) JFK's autopsy photos and X-rays have been altered/faked.

19.) A man with an umbrella IN PLAIN SIGHT ON ELM STREET fired a poisoned dart into the neck of President Kennedy (in front of HUNDREDS OF WITNESSES AND MANY CAMERAS).

20.) A man with an umbrella IN PLAIN SIGHT ON ELM STREET was "signalling" to his co-conspirators by "pumping" his rain-shielding device up and down (in front of HUNDREDS OF WITNESSES AND MANY CAMERAS).

21.) JFK faked his own death (Brian David Andersen).

22.) The "backyard photos" have been faked.

23.) Lyndon Baines Johnson had Kennedy killed.

24.) Governor John Connally was involved in arranging things so that JFK would be able to drive by the "kill zone" on Elm Street (Doug Horne, et al).

25.) John Connally possibly whipped a pistol out of his ankle holster and shot the President (Gil Jesus; no, really, Jesus actually put that theory on the table a year or two ago).

26.) The DPD actually killed Lee Harvey Oswald (by finishing him off in the DPD office area after Ruby fired one shot into his belly).

27.) The Parkland Hospital doctors actually killed Lee Harvey Oswald (by allowing him to die on the operating table, instead of saving his life).

28.) CE399 was planted by Jack Ruby at Parkland Hospital.

29.) CE399 was planted by ________ at Parkland Hospital.

30.) CE399 was substituted for the real bullet that Darrell Tomlinson found on a stretcher at Parkland Hospital.

31.) More silly theories HERE.

32.) And more HERE (57 total).

Now, Chris, what was it you were saying about "fabrications"?

Talk about pot and kettle.


MIKE WILLIAMS SAID:

David,

Please do not forget to include Messner's most recent offering:

The "3 black men" and Jack Dougherty were on the 5th floor as part of the conspiracy.


DAVID VON PEIN SAID:

Right, Mike.

Of course, as I said above, there are literally hundreds of additional hunks of silliness that I could add to any such list of things that have been "fabricated" by conspiracy theorists.

Another one that just came to mind after I saw Mike's last post:

A few years ago, a kook named Donald C. Willis (at the alt.conspiracy.jfk newsgroup/"Pigpen") postulated that -- get this kids -- Danny Arce (an 18-year-old TSBD worker) was the person who killed JFK. And--are you ready?--Arce evidently did it from the WEST side of the FIFTH FLOOR.

And then--is somebody holding you up?--Willis goes on to say that the other co-conspirators (which included ALL of the men who were on the fifth floor at 12:30--Williams, Norman, and Jarman) planted evidence on the EAST SIDE of the SIXTH floor in order to frame Oswald. (A DIFFERENT floor entirely from where Arce committed the murder!)

Also--get the smelling salts for this one--Willis theorizes that Bonnie Ray Williams, a few minutes before Arce blew JFK's head off, was waving a rifle out of a window on the FIFTH floor in order to ATTRACT ATTENTION to Oswald's window, which (of course) was located on the SIXTH floor.

To read still more about Don Willis' situation comedy regarding the evil fifth-floor Depository assassins, GO HERE.

As Vince Bugliosi said on Page 507 of "Reclaiming History" --- "I know that conspiracy theorists have a sweet tooth for silliness, but is there absolutely nothing that is too silly for their palate?"


CHRIS MESSNER SAID:

So tell us your real name?


DAVID VON PEIN SAID:

Hint: Check the name attached to every post I make.

But I imagine you require a birth certificate, right?

No, wait. That won't cut it. A birth certificate could always be "altered" and/or "faked" too. Everything is always fake in the world of conspiracy-happy kooks. So, I guess I'm SOL when it comes to proving who I am. ~sigh~


CHRIS MESSNER SAID:

What is your identity?


DAVID VON PEIN SAID:

Aren't you repeating yourself, kook? See last answer.


MESSNER CONTINUES THE GRILLING (SANS THE HOT LIGHTS AND DRIPPING WATER, THANK HEAVEN):

Where do you live?


DVP (SWEATING BULLETS, EVEN THOUGH CHRIS ISN'T UTILIZING HOT LIGHTS) SAID:

Langley, Virginia. (Where else?)

Now, when can I expect the next 10 questions of your inquisition, kook?

David Von Pein
April 14, 2010